Hidden Secrets
by kitizl
Summary: All of us have secrets. Light Yagami is no exception. Especially when it comes to love.


**Author's Note: This story is kind of inspired from my life, though I would like to clarify, big time, that I'm not gay. This is my first big attempt on romance, so please review. And avoid saying _lame._ It really makes me want to punch your face.**

* * *

Secrets. Everybody has them.

People think that a certain person, especially if they seem very good goody, that they are extremely honest. Well, that is definitely not true.

Only when a certain person appears goody goody to you, that means he is holding some secret from you.

And there are so many people in the world who would fall into that category. Say, Light Yagami.

A child prodigy. Got straight As in whatever class he walks into. Girls admire him. But he has a secret.

Other than the fact that he was Kira.

That is a story which he hid for a very long time. Nobody knows about it. But for him.

Now it is up to me to narrate the woeful story of his biggest secret.

His first love.

* * *

Light walked to school everyday. He found it to be quite exciting. Buses and cycles were cool, but walking, had a unique high to it.

March 22nd. That was the day when he met his first crush.

He walked to the school, as he always did, and sat in his seat, five minutes before anyone else came. This was quite odd, as a middle schooler would never, ever come to school early. Ah, the problems of being in the 90s.

He took out his math textbook, and flipped through the pages. He had an algebra test and he had prepared well. He was just bored. Flipping pages of the lessons you are thorough with gives him the sense of preparedness which he usually never has.

As the clock struck 9, his classroom gushed with the other students. Light didn't pay any heed to the class bully, using his (Light) bag as a football. He just looked at them playing with his bag with the corner of his eye, and sighed.

The electric bell rang and the students immediately sat in their respective seats. The class teacher of eighth grade, Yoshiro sensei, walked in with his bag under his arm.

He placed it on the desk, and smiled at the students.

"Good morning!", his voice rang.

"Good morning sensei", the class sang.

"Today," he said, "we have a new transfer student from Akashira Academy just outside Kantou."

He then paused and looked at the door, and then smiled, "Come on in."

Light was, for once, genuinely interested in this transfer student. Usually transfer students came from inside Kantou, and the transfer students outside Kantou never came to this school. He looked up from his Algebra textbook, and looked at the door. And in he came.

Light's eyes widened as soon as he entered. He had straight hair, combed to one side. He wore black framed glasses. His uniform was neatly ironed, and his smile was captivating. He smiled cheerfully as he entered the class, and he waved.

"Hato Satsujin", Yokoshiro sensei introduced.

Hato bowed to the class. "Please help me out this year", he said, like all transfer students say.

"Hato", Yokoshiro sensei said. "Seat next to Yoko. The girl on the second row"

Hato nodded, and walked to his seat. Light was right behind him. He wanted to talk to him. But he can't. It is too early.

Light came to that disappointing conclusion, and sighed. The sensei began teaching. The boy, Hato, enthusiastic as a brand new student, started to talk to Yoko-chan, the girl to Light's ten o' clock.

Light wanted to crush her. He took the lead for his mechanical pencil, and accidentally broke it into two pieces. It was only a minute later he had realized that he had broken them. He didn't bring another one.

Suddenly his face brightened. Now might be a nice chance to talk to Hato.

He leaned forward and whispered, "Satsujin-san. Do you have extra lead?"

Hato turned back, and smiled triumphantly. "Sure I do.", he whispered back. He then rummaged his pouch, and took out a small box that contained maybe 100 spare leads. He took one out, and gave it to Light. Light smiled when he grabbed it, and he gently loaded his mechanical pencil.

"My name is Light. Light Yagami", he whispered.

Hato smiled back, "Nice to meet you Yagami-san!"

Light smiled back, and leaned back on his chair. Good. He took the first step. Public contact.

* * *

Light walked back home, smiling more than usual. he found a new friend. Even though it was just asking for extra lead, it was an initiative. He can be good friends with that guy. Light liked him, and there was no questioning that.

Eventually, just as he walked past the railway crossing, a thought crept in to his mind.

"Why am I only thinking about him?", he thought. "I mean, I did my algebra test really well, and I don't seem to think about that at all!"

He bit his tongue. "Usually, I would, but this... this is disturbing. It's like I'm stalking him using my mind."

He shook his head in light of a new thought.

Was he gay?

Light shook again, but this time more vigorously.

"Don't be absurd", he told himself. "You just want to be friends. Just friends."

He pulled his bag closer, and entered his house with that thought. There was a nagging thought, but he dismissed it and walked in anyway.

* * *

The following day was cloudy. Light took his umbrella, and ran to the school today. Mrs Yagami thought this was weird, since he always walked to school. Running was something, she did not expect her son to do. She sighed, shook her head, and walked back inside.

Light ran today. He didn't realize that until he realized that the school gates were still closed. He was fifteen minutes before time.

Light sighed, and sat near the gate.

He closed his eyes, and the first image that popped into his mind, was Hato.

Light shook his head. He tried to remember the algebraic formulae. A plus B the whole squared was A squared plus B squared plus two times A times B. Good, he got distracted.

With the satisfaction of removing Hato from his mind, he opened his eyes, only to find Hato standing right in front of him, smiling.

"Good Morning!", he said, in his usual chirpy face.

Light stood up in a flash, and said, "Good Morning"

Hato stood next to Light, which made Light feel very conscious about himself. he tried to imagine how he looked like from Hato's eye. He shook his head again, to remove that thought. How disgusting!

"So", Light began speaking, "How was your first day at school?"

Hato sighed in regret. "Not very well, I suppose. Nobody talks to me, and I bruised my leg yesterday while playing football. I didn't understand half of the assignments given to me." Saying so, he turned to look at Light. "Is that bad or very bad?"

Light laughed to himself. "Not very bad, but after all, it is your first day"

"Yeah..."

After that, there was a long gap which composed of only silence. It looked very weird to Light, but Hato seemed to be thinking about something.

Finally, Light blurted out, "Was it maths?"

Hato was taken aback at the sudden question. "Uh.. Y-Yeah..."

The gates were opened.

"Come on in. I'll help you with the assignments."

"Really?", Hato smiled.

Light smiled back, and both of them walked into their classroom.

Light and Hato opened their textbooks and Light began teaching the sums which Hato didn't understand. Hato listened his attention undivided, and didn't respond more than an occasional question.

Eventually, the clock struck nine, and the rest of the class flooded in as usual. Light found it amusing how these students came inside the class a sharp nine o' clock.

"Thanks for helping me out, Light", Hato bowed.

"Hey, that's what friends do!", Light replied scratching his hair.

Hato sat in his seat, and continued talking to Light. Light found it very amusing to talk to him.

* * *

It had been 5 months since Light and Hato first met. They two had become extremely close, and Light started admiring him more and more. Hato, on the other side, had no idea that Light had a crush on him. So, he had no problem with their relationship.

Light on the other hand, was suffering mentally. He could not make up his mind. He cannot classify Hato as a friend or a crush. Occasionally, he plucked some of his hair out in frustration, and then resort to crying.

Light had a hard time deciding whether he loved Hato or not.

But as the days grew in to months, and months into a year, Light finally decided, that he had a crush on Hato.

But, Light didn't know that Hato, had an agenda of his own.

* * *

"Who?", Light asked, surprised.

"Shh...", Hato whispered. "Don't shout"

Light was taken aback by this new development. Hato's words struck him like a sword, that he had no idea how to react.

"Yes, yes" Hato said, blushing. "I think I like her a lot"

Light started sweating. This was exactly what he wanted not to happen, and that precisely happened. Hato falling for another girl.

"Who did you say it was?", Light smiled, masking his anger, sadness and frustration hearing that sentence.

"Ren-kun, from tenth grade. I've seen her blushing at me from time to time, and I really like her."

"Mhmm", Light smiled.

"What do you think I should do?"

Light scratched his chin. He cannot forfeit his love for another. He cannot disrupt his best friend's feelings. He had no other choice.

"I think you should confess to her.", he said, straining a lot.

Hato, on the other hand, didn't notice the strain. "Really?", he said. "Okay, I'll do it this break time. Want to join me?"

Light waved his hand, declining the offer. He doubted whether he would have the mental capacity to see his love confessing to his own.

And later on in the day, just like how Hato had mentioned it, he went to Ren and confessed to her. Light meanwhile, was sitting in his class, attempting to solve a polynomial function.

That was when two girls entered the class giggling. Light rotated his eyes to look at them, and as soon as his eyes met theirs, they stopped giggling.

"Oh, this class isn't empty", one girl said.

"Ah, that's Yagami. Nobody cares about him but for Satsujin. He won't tell anyone anyway."

Light sighed quietly, and continued factorizing the polynomial.

"Oi oi", the first girl said. "You know ... this is weird... A girl ... loving a... a girl..."

The second slapped her head. "Don't worry! It's the 90s. This kind of a relationship has sort of become the trend."

Light's eyes flared at the sentence.

"And remember, I don't care about anyone else", the second girl continued. "I love you, that is all."

"Me too", the first girl replied.

Light moved his eyes again, and the girls walked out, the girls' eyes not missing each other.

Light looked at the notebook. Must he confess to Hato? After all, according to what that girl said, it is a trend. He thought Hato wouldn't mind anyway. They were just, way too close.

Just as closed his notebook after finishing the problem, Hato entered the classroom.

"Hey Light-kun!", he chirped.

"Yo.", Light said.

"I told her! I told her! I told her!", he jumped. "And she said yes!"

Light smiled, not so enthusiastically, "Good for you."

Hato instantly realized that something was wrong.

"Hey, Light. You okay?"

Light's eyebrows tightened. It was now, or never.

"Hato, I love you."

Hato was blinking at Light's face. He smiled a bit, thinking it was a joke, but after looking at how Light's stern expression hasn't changed, he knew he was for serious.

"No way", Hato closed his mouth.

"Hato...", Light began, realizing his mistake.

"You're gay?!"

"Hato, listen..."

"YOU'RE DISGUSTING LIGHT!", he yelled, and dashed out of the classroom.

Light stood aghast, as what he feared has exactly happened. His friendship with Hato Satsujin was over. Closed. No more talking to him.

The rest of the day, Light remained moody, and sad. As soon as the bell rang, he proceeded to pack his bag. Hato had already done it, and dashed outside the classroom, even before Light even thought of talking to him.

Light walked back home, smiling, remembering the wonderful times he had with Hato Satsujin. He valued their friendship more than enything. But now that is lost.

As soon as he entered his house, he went straight up to his room, without opening his mouth. He locked the room, covered his face with the pillow, and started crying.

He vowed, in utmost depression, that he would never, ever get into a serious relationship in his life, yet again.

* * *

After Light realized Hato's reaction towards Homosexuality, he figured that the others would do the same. He never told anyone about this tale, and he probably never will, for he tried desperately, to forget the whole matter.

Everybody has their secrets. Light Yagami, the prodigy, is no different.

* * *

**It is sort of based on how I had a crush on this girl, but wasn't brave enough to tell her, as I valued my friendship more. Later, I dropped the crush bit, and just enjoyed the friendship, which is what made me write this story.  
**

**It might seem pretty disturbing, but like I said, I haven't written such a story in my life. Please review.**


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